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Posts : 874
Join date : 2014-09-19
Age : 30
Location : Norway

PostSubject: National humor   Fri 14 Aug 2015, 07:37

So I'm bored out of my skull. Here is some - rather black - humor that make most Norwegians laugh. Perhaps you will too.

How to annoy drivers!

Requirements: 1x Car.

1. Roll down your windows and crank the volume up to max level while listening to the news, headbanging as hard as you can. Shades optimal.

2. Smile and wave to everyone that pass you by. If they wave back, twist your expression into the best angry/rage face you can make and flip them the bird!

3. Drive up besides another car and make rude/orgasmic faces. Slow down so they pass you by. Repeat from the beginning.

4. If you are a passenger, flash your ass and moon the cars coming up behind you!

5. Drive *very* slowly - ask a senior, 70+ citizen for help on this - especially effective if there is only one lane, if not, rapidly swap lanes so that no-one get's past you!

6. Park across the lane(s) and leave the vehicle. Especially effective in combination with method 1. Deutsche und Schweizerische Volk-, Schlager und Jodler-Musik or Rammstein can be a good substitute for the news. In order to create some drama, so that everyone thinks the car belongs to a terrorist, play Arabian pop music instead.

7. Honk for no reason. Repeatedly. This can really stress out the other drivers and best of all lead to collisions and other accidents !

8. After fueling the car, leave it alone by the pump while you are inside getting a large, filling meal. Take your time and eat it. Remember to get and enjoy a drink as well.

9. Remove the bulbs in your blinkers. In the front and the back.

10. Stop before the red light in a crossing. Start slowly, a while after the green light. An exciting variant would be to stop in the middle of the crossing and kill the engine, blocking the traffic in any direction. Especially effective with trailer drivers !

The Student's 14 commandments.

1. Thou shall not borrow thy neighbor's pen. Take it for thyself.

2. Thou shall not run in the hallways. Jumping, skipping and skidding is more fun.

3. Thou shall not whisper in class. YELL. It annoys thy teacher more.

4. Thou shall not throw erasers in class. Books are harder and heavier.

5. Thou shall not spy on thy neighbor's test. Have they neighbor's test delivered directly to thy desk.

6. Thou shall not poke pencils into thy neighbor's body. Open pairs of scissors are sharper.

7. Thou shall not mess with thy neighbor's hair. Cut it short instead.

8. Thou shall not write from thy neighbors. Have thy neighbors write for thou instead.

9. Thou shall not let thy thoughts fly. Thy thoughts may fly away.

10. Thou shall not shoot eraser fragments with thy ruler. Thumbtacks hurt thy neighbors more.

11. Thou shall not talk over thy teacher. Demand thy teacher shut the fuck up and allow thyself to speak alone.

12. Thou shall not bother with homework. Make thy teacher work for thou instead.

13. Thou shall not throw water at thy teacher. Save it for thy principal instead.

14. Thou shall not  throw water at thy teacher. Soda stains more easily.

That's all for now, but there might be more later on. If you have some from where you live (that is not to hard or laborious to translate) please share Razz

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Last edited by FocusLight on Fri 14 Aug 2015, 13:23; edited 4 times in total
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Posts : 453
Join date : 2014-09-07
Location : Left lane

PostSubject: Re: National humor   Fri 14 Aug 2015, 12:07

Haha, you should call this, how to get the biggest asshole, on the street and in school...
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